our grass harper turns two

beautiful day for your second birthday, harper. you are turning two just days after we closed our restaurant, food matters. the realization that you will never even remember our little dream of a business is not lost on me. it is a painful fact that made the decision to close even harder. i think because it represented everything that we wanted for you and your siblings. but you will have those things anyway, and now at less of a cost to all of us.

perhaps it is because you are the baby of the family, but everything you do just breaks my heart. mostly because each stage you go through seems so miraculous but so fleeting and i can't bear to let it go. i treasured our first couple of days together at the hospital. i am proud that i never once had to give you formula. feeding you is a daily joy, particularly breakfast, your favorite meal. you walked at nine months, i barely even remember you crawling. you hold a fork, a pencil, any tool, with such grace that it amazes us. such perfection from such little fingers. between the omnipresent nest of hair in the back of your head and your super hipster rat tail, i can't bring myself to bring you for your first haircut. listening to you sing happy birthday to yourself last night in bed was heavenly. some of your favorite words are strawberry, bath time, car ride, and i love you. not surprisingly, you love to announce mealtimes at home.

it seems that as mothers we not only want better for our children than we had for ourselves, but with each child we hope to perfect parenting a little more. your intolerance to wheat has challenged me to examine further how i feed myself and others as well. your constant need for my presence teaches me that i am capable of having more patience than i ever thought possible. holding you a little longer at night reminds me that nothing outside of our family should consume me.

i am excited and terrified to watch you grow up, harper. i hope that one day you will read this and be amused, but that you won't need to read it to understand how completely i love you. that i hope to show you every day of your life, for as long as i live.

happy birthday my sweet baby harper.

love,

mommy